I remember as a school kid I used to yearn to be an adult one day so I had the freedom to choose different dresses for every day rather than a school uniform, like the teacher who got to choose and wear a different saree every day. The power of choice to do things the way you want to.
As an adult when I rummaged through my wardrobe for deciding on the right outfit for the workday i.e in pre-covid world, I wished we had uniforms in workplaces, where the choice was made for me, so I do not have to own the burden of thinking if the outfit made me look good, was it appropriate and more.
The power of choice has a burden. The burden to be right for me, for others around me. To make a choice that’s good for today, for tomorrow, forever.
Sometimes it feels good, in a way relieved, if someone else made the choice for us because if it goes wrong, we can blame them. We don’t have to weigh down under the burden of a wrong choice. We don’t have to face the humiliation of a wrong choice made. We don’t have to stand the judgement of ignorance or stupidity for the wrong choice made.
For women in many facets of life, the power of choice isn’t granted. Few are given, many we fight for, many we let go.
The ones we let go – it’s often because the power of choice has a burden. And we don’t want to carry that burden.
We leave financial investment decisions to others because we don’t want to carry the brunt of failed investments.
We let others make choices for our education because what if we fail in the path we choose.
We let others make career choices, whether to travel or not to travel, to work or not to work, to come back from a career break or not to come back, because the fear is what if we fail to make it work.
As women when we let go of the power of choice, we need to carefully assess, is it the situation demands, you have done everything to keep the right to the power of choice and yet it has been taken away. Or do you lack the humility to fail today to earn the right to the power of choice tomorrow?
The power of choice can be earned only by owning a tremendous dose of humility. Humility when choices we make knock us over causing us to fall flat on our faces. Humility to see our calculations fail and losses mount. Humility to ask for help and advice. Humility to know that the problem we face is unique but not unique, there is someone out there who has gone through the same thing, so just seek help.
When we are ready to carry all the humility in the world, we get to own the power of choice.
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